A warning, I plan on writing this blog as honest as possible. No sugar coating, just as is information.
I'll start out saying this, I would never wish single motherhood on anyone, it is by far the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. That aside, I love being a mother and please keep that in mind when you read anything I write.
As many of you don't know or maybe you do, I experienced what I would consider severe baby blues. It lasted weeks and was horrid, it makes me fear the possibility of another child some day. I have almost overcome these "blues" and am now a much happier person. I'm not going to go into detail of these blues, just that they were very hard to deal with as I have never felt such strong emotions as them before. So ladies, if you have experienced the baby blues, like 80% of women, you are not alone.
I have a wonderful child. He turned 11 weeks today. In my eyes, he is perfect and is so smart already! He has been able to roll over from his stomach to his back since 4 weeks. According to the babycenter website, he is already doing all of the "advanced" milestones for his age. He makes me laugh every day. I really love that I get this time with him and I am his mother. His laughs, smiles, and explosive happiness makes it impossible for me to ever be mad at him, even when he is getting me up sometimes every 2 hours at night(sometimes less).
Now onto today. Today we went to jazzercise, where he was very good through almost the whole thing, though I did need to nurse him the last 15 minutes, oh well. We then came home and after showering very quickly and getting dressed, we were back out the door after 15 minutes to meet a friend at the mall. My friend has an adorable daughter who is 3 weeks older than Layton. We had a great time at the mall, wandering, stopping in JC Penney to nurse Layton, he then slept in the Bjorn and then woke up when we went to eat at Panera. We got home around 2pm and just hung around the house. Layton wasn't feeling the best, I think his stomach was bothering him, so he slept(and cried) on me while I watched Glee and wanted to nurse for comfort. Luckily, that passed and he was a very happy boy around 5pm. We skyped with my parents for about a half hour. I put him down for bed around 9pm and ate some supper. Unfortunately, I think I may be getting a cold, which I am definitely not looking forward to, as I am the only caretaker for Layton currently and I am not looking forward to the challenge. I will have to find out what I can take as a nursing mother. I am also not looking forward to the fact that if I really do have a cold, I will also be dealing with a sick baby alone. I will survive, this I know, I may be tired, but I will survive.
All in all, we had a really good day. I miss my husband so much and I am literally counting down the days that I hope when he will return(I'm really starting to like the count). I would say the hardest things about single parenting are these: loneliness, no one to pass the baby off to when I need to take a break, no one to share the special moments with, and no one to share the stress with. I'm sure there are others, though I'm so tired at the moment, I can't really think too straight. So on that note, I'm going to bed.
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